My dad was not a very good parent. He's amazingly charismatic and people are drawn to him without him ever trying to get attention. He's tall, dark and handsome, has beautiful eyes, a charming smile and the ability to laugh at himself. Plus he's a natural story-teller. He never, ever disciplined us...that' was mom's job. He was away a lot of the time. He was distracted much of the time. But when he was home, I was with him. I spent as much time as possible working outside with him in the yard. He taught me how to ride my horse, and how to play guitar. After my parent divorced, we didn't see him much at all.
One of my fondest memories was spending the summer of my 16th year with him in So. Cal. where he lived. My sisters are still bitter about the way he treated my mom, and probably because he was never much of a father to us. As my dad has aged, he's mellowed and he regrets not spending time with us and never really knowing us when we were younger...which of course has led to not knowing us very well as adults either. When I got married at aged 25, I made a decision to have a relationship with my dad, whether he was gonna try or not. It's paid off. Once Taylor was born, I worked harder at keeping him in touch with us. Now, he adores Taylor and they have a lot in common (a love of History, war stories, and music) and have easy conversations.
He's tried really hard to get to know our kids...me and my younger sister have forged adult relationships with he and his wife. My older sister never calls him and doesn't return his calls.
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My stepfather is an amazing, wonderful, grounded man. He's been a faithful husband to my mom for 25 years. He's a loving father and dotes on all his grandkids and stepgrandkids. He's a handyman and always fixes stuff when he visits (we save stuff up for him so he doesn't get bored). I love his New England accent. When we all vacationed in Cancun for my 20th anniversary party, Ronnie and I went snorkling together...just the two of us. It was the most bonding, alone time we'd ever spent and it was awesome.
Now I'm tearing up. I need to call these wonderful men who helped raise me and make me into the woman who's raised an amazing son as a result of their influence.
Put your towels on. It’s Christmas Eve.
16 hours ago