Watching Grass Grow

It's one of those fall days that, but for all the leaves in my yard, I could easily forget winter will soon be here. It's a sunny, happy day. I've already been outside...I walked the dogs earlier and played ball off the back deck with them. I had the slider's screen open while I cooked spinach quiche and sausage for breakfast. So, it's not like I'm letting the day blow breezily by without enjoying it.

But right now I have guilt.

I'm here, on the computer, starting a blog, while I watch my husband make horizontal stripes with the lawn mower in the back yard. Sure, there's laundry tumbling in the dryer, and I spritzed some cleaner around the downstairs bathroom. I even changed the sheets on our bed. But I still feel, somehow, that I don't really deserve the priviledge of sitting here and waxing about a pretty day when it's just beckoning me to go out there and take advantage of it.

That little voice in my head is whispering to me: You may not believe it, but it's gonna be really cold soon and then you're not gonna wanna take the dogs out in the morning. You're going to wish for days like this in a few weeks.

What's that the farmers used to say? "Make hay while the sun shines." That is the root of my guilt. That I actually had a grandfather who was a farmer doesn't help. That I also have a mother who can't sit still,who eats her meals as though she'll never have another, who talks in paragraphs and keeps talking until she runs out of air, as though she'll never have another opportunity to speak. This is a woman who lives for the moment in the truest sense. She'd never let a day like this pass without raking leaves, putting up the Christmas lights (even though she won't yet light them), clean out the shed and bake a pie and still have time to roll around in those raked leaves with the grandkids, run to the grocery store and wash 3 loads of clothes. You think I'm exaggerating!

So I guess I'll wrap this up and get the hell moving. I still need to shower so I can cheer my son at his hockey games this afternoon. Maybe I'll throw together some spaghetti sauce too. But first, I think I'll take another walk.