Perfect is for Pussies

I just read a comment posted on another blog that has me thinking. The poster said it was the norm for her family to believe "thin = happy."

Wow.

Show of hands if you have believed, or currently believe that?

As a fitness trainer, as a woman who has struggled with weight my entire life and seen many people get into serious physical and psychological trouble while trying to measure up to some idealized perception of what beauty or happiness is, I am sick and tired of it. It's time to wake up.

Whatever happened to fat and happy? I mean, fat isn't healthy, but that isn't a good enough reason against which to measure one's self worth. Thin can be unhealthy too. And believe me, I've worked with clients who were once miserable and fat, lost weight and are now miserable and thin. Their focus changed. Now, instead of being obsessed with food, they're obsessed with dieting. Or realize even more they are in a shitty marriage. Or have pain-in-the-ass relatives to deal with. Or any number of reasons and experiences from which to experience misery. Most of these people are hiding behind their fatness to be miserable instead of dealing with what's really going on.

I also believe media has put into our heads that we are less than perfect if we don't fit a certain mold. We've come so far in getting equality in so many ways, and yet, we still buy into being less than. I know some absolutely stunning overweight people, in looks and personality, and in some cases both. They are lovely women inside and out and anyone would be hard pressed to measure up against their beauty. And yet, even one or two of these women feel inadequate because of their weight issues. I understand this intimately because I'm one of those people who has spent a lifetime of measuring my self-worth against the scale.

I had an epiphany recently that I blogged about. I realized I"d been covering up some emotional baggage from a couple of semi-traumatic events in my adolescence. This realization went a long way toward making me okay with the size I am...and by that I mean who I am. I've forgiven myself for being imperfect and realized that life needs to be enjoyed instead of wasted worrying about never measuring up. And guess what, I'm happier and healthier for it. I'm still not perfect. I don't exercise as often or as intensely as I probably should. I don't eat perfectly all the time. It's just too much pressure to keep trying to be perfect.

Perfect is for pussies.

Trying to lose weight because it makes you healthier is a goal, not a measure of self-worth. Wanting to exercise to tone up and look better is okay. We all have a little vanity. But neither fat nor thin equals happy. Happiness comes from inside your head and inside your heart.